Download The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!, by Debra Fine
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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!, by Debra Fine
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From Publishers Weekly
Would-be social butterflies will get encouragement but little inspiration from this not quite scintillating self-help primer. Fine, a conversation consultant, insists that small talk is the necessary overture to deeper communication, the key to generating business leads and dates and a pathway to a richer life in which strangers are magically transformed into acquaintances. She covers such cocktail-party conundrums as how to spot "approachable" interlocutors, how to make introductions, how to butt into an intriguing conversation, resuscitate a flagging one and bail out of a boring one, and how to resist one-uppers, know-it-alls, motormouths and other abusers of talk. Given the ingrained human reluctance to talk to strangers, will, not technique, is the real issue. Much of the book is taken up with motivational pep-talks to get readers to initiate contact (one agonizing exercise suggests "walk through the mall and just say hello to ten people as you pass them"); in a world where everyone feels at a loss for words, Fine argues, saying virtually anything makes one a "hero." Unfortunately, it doesn't necessarily make one a great conversationalist. The heart of Fine's methodology consists of long lists of icebreakers and inviting questions that she instructs readers to memorize and regurgitate as needed to jump-start and sustain conversations, and these read like rather bad small-talk-dull ("How has the internet affected your life?"), stilted ("Do you have a personal motto or creed?") and awkward ("Describe an embarrassing moment you've had."). Tongue-tied readers can benefit from her pointers and exhortation, but one hopes they will think a little harder before they speak.Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Review
Among Fine's best tips are how to deal with these so-called conversation criminals, and how not to be one. -- USA Today, October 17, 2005The meatiest part of Fine's book is a classification of common behaviors that can kill a conversation. -- USA Today, October 17, 2005
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Product details
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: Hachette Books; First Edition edition (October 1, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1401302262
ISBN-13: 978-1401302269
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.9 x 7.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
170 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#12,473 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I would put this book in the category of "professional self help". Because of my desire to further my career, I have strayed away from the enjoyment of fiction and my David Baldacci obsession to this genre. I received this book on Saturday, 5/27/18, and finished it within two days. It is a very short read, around ~200 pages, large print, small pages, and has several comic-style strips, and long lists taking up space, making it a quick read (~3 hours).As far as content goes, the book actually does deliver. It has some very detailed advice regarding speaking to people from starting a conversation, continuing a conversation, transitions, topics of conversation, etc. The reason I knocked off one star is because each category the author gives taxonomies (IE: The 5 types of conversation killers), but does not go on to direct the reader on how to correct this behavior. One other pitfall I found in the book is the amount of "confidence building" or "ego stroking" the author conveys, although I understand the audience and reason for this, it is a little too much at times.Overall I think this book is great, especially for people who experience anxiety with social situations as I do. With that being said, the book does not do the work for you, but it does prepare you on how to effectively make social situations more successful. I even gave it to my intern, who is a recent college grad, and has been open about her anxiety at professional mixers, and she found it very helpful. Some of the advice can easily be implemented very successfully the same day as reading, which I found to give me a big confidence boost.
Seems like other books in this genre assume there is some level of social competence in the reader. Which, I suppose there might be some use to that, but this does not make that assumption. This book is just what I needed. Specific examples, specific suggestions to say, It has already helped me to make small talk. I just had to memorize a few phrases she suggested to get things going, and other phrases for what to say when the conversation has hit a dead spot, and the rest of the conversation takes care of itself.
I was shocked at how poorly executed this book was considering the high rating. Of course every book has flaws, but unfortunately the advice and techniques given in this book just don’t seem to apply to this century. Truly the techniques and scenarios given in this book seem to apply to the 1980’s. No serious profesiobal in a networking setting would ever attempt the majority of the techniques proposed in this book. Truly, don’t waste the money on this - look elsewhere.
I've been in sales for most of my professional life but have actually learned from this book. I bought it for a family member who has benefited as well. Small talk and connecting with others is, I believe, a basic skill that everyone should learn by young adulthood. Sadly, with today's technology obsessions, it's a skill that is dying out.
This useful and concise book contains entertaining anecdotes, elements and suggestions that are immediately actionable, confidence builders and lists of topics and questions that can be used to get a conversation started. It covers everything from networking events to dating - airports and air time. It is a good book, a useful resource, and was an insightful read.
If you want to learn how to meet and get to know interesting people and potentially valuable friends, this is the book for you. It all starts with saying hi and doing a little small talk, but the author follows through to developing relationships to some extent. If you sit in the corner during a fun party because you don't know anyone, you can really this sort of medicine, but even the most gregarious of us is likely to have a potentially life changing experience. Get this book, y'all.
The book does exactly what it is supposed to do. It is not about how to form lasting relationships, but about how to engage in casual conversations in social situations. For the shy person who never knows exactly how to start or maintain a conversation it is an excellent guide to the practicalities of everyday conversation.
What a helpful book. I check the lists of opening lines before I go out socially and try one or two each time. Like magic they work. Where was this help when I needed it in years past. Well, got it now and it is a keeper!
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